The World According to Ploy

March 10, 2009

“Are you *bleeping* NUTS?”

Filed under: Hot Guys,Movie Reviews — by Ploy @ 12:01 am

If I were to list down the differences between me and Cate Blanchett, it would probably stretch from here to Mars, wind around said planet two times, head off to Venus, make a u-turn around Mercury, and then come back to Earth.

Even then, I would only be halfway done with the list.

A while ago, I saw The Curious Case of Benjamin Button on DVD (loads of thanks to Ching!) I don’t know what happened in the first half – Brad was unrecognizable, ergo I did not pay attention – but in the second half, Benjamin was Brad…Benjamin was even younger than Brad. I was hooked.

Anyways, it was around that second half that I found another difference between Ms. Blanchett and I.

The conversation between Benjamin/Brad and Daisy/Cate Blanchett went like this

Daisy/Cate: “Make love to me”
Benjamin/Brad: “Absolutely”

And heck, even if this were not scripted (and Brad Pitt was not with Angelina Jolie, with whom I also have a longass list of differences with) the conversation would still go like this.

However, if this was between him and me…

Ploy: “Make love to me”
Benjamin/Brad: “Are you *bleeping* NUTS?”

And he would whack me on the head with a baseball bat. In all possibilities it would be a mortal wound.

Therefore…Blanchett vs. Songkaeo – Difference #2324873201293432 – Cate will survive requesting, and enjoy, Brad making love to her. I would die, and Brad would plead self-defense.

February 16, 2009

An Open Letter to Johnny Depp

Filed under: Hot Guys — by Ploy @ 5:56 pm

Dear Johnny,

I love you. I really do. Aside from the fact that you are a great husband (or “domestic partner”..but really, you’ve been with Vanessa for 10 years o_O), a wonderful father, and a talented actor (you rocked in Secret Window, by the way. The plot was predictable but Johnny, you were not), you also transformed Jack Sparrow into this:

HOT Captain

HOT Captain

Instead of this:

WHAT Captain?

WHAT Captain?

I know this is almost half a decade in coming but: THANK YOU. MY EYESIGHT AND I OWE YOU MUCH GRATITUDE. Kohl and dreadlocks! You are pure genius! If your acting career ever flounders – which it probably won’t. Not many people in Hollywood can act like you (not that many people in Hollywood can act anyways, but that is another story) – you are certainly qualified to pursue a career as a concept designer, or costume designer, or stylist. Johnny, you have good taste. Thank you again. You rock.

Lots of love and many bottles of rum,
Ploy S.

 

 

PS. If you were wondering where I got the ‘test version’ of Captain Jack from, it is from our trusted source of all knowledge: Wikipedia. From Jack’s very own Wiki page, to be precise. I don’t think I need to mention where I got Hot Jack from, as those are all over the internet.

January 13, 2009

GNOMES on the BIG SCREEN

Filed under: Gnomes,Hot Guys — by Ploy @ 4:31 pm

I kid you not.

Gnomeo and Juliet

And James McAvoy is doing one of the voices (quite possibly that of Gnomeo). That’s J-A-M-E-S M-C-A-V-O-Y, aka the Hot Scot. Can you imagine Mr. McAvoy as a gnome though?

James McAvoy, gnome version, dressed in kilts.

Throw a bagpipe into the image, perhaps, if it should please you.

Hmmmmm. I can’t wait for 2010, the fact that we’re just two weeks into 2009 notwithstanding.

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